Mothermilk Ohio Series: Samantha Walters of She Collective

Through the side doors of Good Soil Lutheran Ministries, nestled in the back of the building is the studio of She Collective. I hear the “pat-pat-pat'“ of fat baby feet on hard floors coming to greet me - I know I must be in the right place. It’s 6pm and the golden evening light floods the cozy studio. There’s a giant calendar on the wall filled with monthly happenings from yoga classes, to workshops and discussions to my right, and a mini Frida Khalo pillow on the sofa to my left.

She Collective is the brain child of Samantha Walters, MPH, IBCLC. A safe space for women to learn about themselves in new ways and to “become the presiding geniuses of their own bodies.”

Sam invited me into her space to chat about her business, motherhood and everything in between.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO START SHE COLLECTIVE?

I remember very clearly one day at work talking to a woman about her worries about low milk supply. She went through all the reasons she thought that her supply was disappearing, and after talking for a few minutes she casually mentioned that her pump was broken and she had already ordered another one. The reason she felt like she didn’t have milk was because she wasn’t pumping as much as she used to be able to. I told her that her supply was probably fine, and reminded her that her pump was at fault, since she had just told me that it was broken and making weird noises. But that was strangely hard for her to grasp, that her body wasn’t to blame. I say “strangely” because it struck me as strange at the time but I’ve realized that it’s actually way too common. The message that we receive day in and day out throughout our lives is to not trust our bodies, that our bodies will betray us, that our bodies belong to the medical system, that there's no way we could truly understand our bodies so we shouldn't even try. This message is so pervasive and insidious that we often don’t even see it with our conscious mind. The only group who is told different--who is told that they have control over their bodies, that they are the geniuses of their own bodies-- is white cishet men. Every other group receives the overwhelming message that our bodies aren’t good enough, that they’re dangerous and incomprehensibleI realized that this talk of the power of our bodies cannot happen only during the perinatal period. If that is the only time that people hear this message then it’s going to be totally ineffective. It has to happen all the time, everyday, since birth. We need to be bombarded with authentic messages that tell us that our bodies are powerful and that we are powerful. But it has to be done in a way that is responsive to our many different experiences and identities. It can’t be a one-size-fits-all message.

That’s how I began to envision She Collective-- a space where folks can feel the courage to talk about their bodies, where we can build body awareness through yoga and movement, where we can tap into the creativity buried deep in our bodies, where we can begin to understand that our bodies ARE powerful-- WE ARE POWERFUL!

TELL US ABOUT YOU DO PROFESSIONALLY!

I am a lactation consultant at Breastfeeding Medicine of Northeast Ohio and an entrepreneur. I founded She Collective and Nova Doula & Lactation Services, and am currently working on an online platform for wellness professionals called Intersectional Wellness.

WHAT DO YOU HOPE FOR YOUR DAUGHTER? YOUR SON?

I hope that both my daughter and son feel supported and loved as they come into their own, as they grow into their own identities. I hope that they keep their sense of humor, their curiosity, their desire for adventure, their open-hearted resilience. I hope that they always feel proud of their Nicaraguan/Costa Rican nationality, even while living in a country that is increasingly xenophobic.

DO YOU EVER EXPERIENCE SO CALLED “MOM GUILT?”

I experience human guilt-- as with everything, I try to do the best I can as a parent and that doesn’t always work out as planned. But I do try to move from guilt and into a place of learning as quickly as I can. To me, guilt isn’t productive.

Honestly, I feel that the whole idea of “mom guilt” is just another way of telling mothers that we have to be a certain way, that we have to do certain things in order to be “good moms.” Mothering is a relationship, and I think that the best way to be our best selves in all relationships is to be open to learning, to apologizing, to speaking honestly, to feeling empathy. Guilt is just beating ourselves up and it doesn’t help anyone.

HOW DO YOU BALANCE RUNNING A BUSINESS AND MOTHERHOOD?

I don’t see it any different from making time for the other relationships in my life-- with my husband, with my dear friends, with my parents and siblings. Of course, I need to be a bit more constantly present for my children, but I really don’t see these different parts of my identity as conflicting. It’s not a balance, it’s an integration. My husband and I share responsibility as parents and as managers of a household as much as possible. My kids feel at home at She Collective and have lots of toys and books here so they can engage themselves while I’m interacting with other people. Plus, they love the childcare during yoga-- they’ve made so many friends!

Of course, this is not to imply that everything is always sunshine and rainbows. It’s freaking hard to feel like I’m constantly multi-tasking! But we figure out ways to make it easier, to be able to stay connected with each other while also feeling productive professionally

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT LIVING IN LAKEWOOD?

I love the community feel of Lakewood. Everyone I talk to loves living here! The business community and individuals have been super supportive of She Collective, which I’m so thankful for. I also am so happy that it seems to becoming more and more diverse!

WHAT FULFILLS YOU MOST ABOUT YOUR JOB?

At She Collective, I really love providing folks with a space to connect. As a lactation consultant, every day is fulfilling, even the hard days! Breastfeeding has been one of the most empowering parts of my parenting experience and I’m blessed to be in a position to help people develop their breastfeeding relationship.

DO YOU HAVE ANY MOM ICONS OR ROLE MODELS, EITHER CELEBRITY OR REAL WOMEN YOU KNOW?

My own mom is the best-- I am so thankful that I’ve had a strong role model to look up to, someone who is passionate and competitive and the most active person I know. I love that she included me and my siblings in the things she loved to do. She loves windsurfing so we learned how to do it. She loves paddleboarding and now takes my kids out on the board with her. She loves yoga and teaches at She Collective! I have never seen her trying to “balance” motherhood and her own passions. It’s all one in the same, it’s her life. And I’ve been blessed to be a part of it.

WHAT IS THE BEST OR MOST USEFUL PIECE ADVICE YOU HAVE RECEIVED ABOUT BEING A MOTHER?

I overheard Dr. Senders at Senders Pediatrics give a parent a piece of advice that I pass on to everyone: lower your expectations. Such great, simple advice! There are going to be tough moments when you doubt everything and moments of ease when you just feel like you’ve got it. We all just have to roll with it. We have to listen to our gut, cut ourselves some slack, and lower our expectations of what “motherhood” looks like.

DO YOU HAVE ANY MOM ICONS OR ROLE MODELS, EITHER CELEBRITY OR REAL WOMEN YOU KNOW?

My own mom is the best-- I am so thankful that I’ve had a strong role model to look up to, someone who is passionate and competitive and the most active person I know. I love that she included me and my siblings in the things she loved to do. She loves windsurfing so we learned how to do it. She loves paddleboarding and now takes my kids out on the board with her. She loves yoga and teaches at She Collective! I have never seen her trying to “balance” motherhood and her own passions. It’s all one in the same, it’s her life. And I’ve been blessed to be a part of it.

HOW DO YOU MAKE TIME FOR SELF-CARE AND WHAT DOES IT USUALLY CONSIST OF?

Some days it’s just sitting quietly with my cup of afternoon coffee before I have to pick up Sahara from school. Other times it’s reading about something that fires me up and gets me thinking a new way-- I just got 2 books from the library that have been challenging me and motivating me to be and do better: Birthing Justice: Black Women, Pregnancy, and Childbirth  and Purusing Intersectionality, Unsettling Dominant Imaginaries. Thinking deeply about the work that I do and getting excited to work toward change has been a big part of my self-care lately.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO A WOMAN ABOUT TO HAVE HER FIRST CHILD?

Hire a doula-- birth and/or postpartum-- if you can. Figure out what support resources are around you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It takes a village, and we’re not supposed to do this on our own! And, of course, trust yourself and trust your baby. You make a great team, no matter what anyone else says. But you’ve got to trust each other and learn each other.

WHAT DOES AN IDEAL DAY WITH THE KIDS LOOK LIKE?

Having enough time to have my coffee before they’re screaming at each other. Some type of adventure-- a hike, a trip to the pool, or just discovering something fun to do at the library. A good 2 hour naptime when I can focus on my own work without distractions. Lots of kisses. Dinner with the 4 of us together. Simple and sweet.

WHAT’S NEW AT SHE COLLECTIVE?!

Our 1 year anniversary is coming up! We have an open house on Sat Sept 22 10-3 and all are invited to attend! There will be yoga classes, a special moving meditation taught to me by a Costa Rican woman who participated in our last retreat, face painting and art for the kids, and other fun stuff. The full schedule will be announced soon.

We have our next Life Infusion Costa Rica Retreat + Experience coming up Jan 6-13 in Santa Teresa… I can’t wait! January is the best time to get out of Cleveland and to warm up oceanside with some yoga and surfing. Our retreats really give participants a special view into Costa Rican culture, so even if you’ve been to the country before I guarantee you’ve never had an experience like this!

And we’re starting a 6-week prenatal yoga series on Sept 29! All our info and our full calendar can be found at knowingshe.com